I have been working in broadcast production for almost 15 years. I have shot commercials with budgets the size of a used car to budgets the size of the bling jewelry companies lend celebs for red carpet events. But strangely, everyone is always dying to ask me the same three things. So instead of that awkward pause when you work up the nerve to ask (or have someone else ask me), let’s get it out of the way here, where there is no pressure. Then we can openly chat about what television is worth watching on a Friday night or why Kate Somerville’s line of cosmetics might be worth the money or if they airbrush Pink’s upper arms in music videos (I’m told they do).

1. I am the Director of Broadcast at gkv and, by default, the Executive Producer. It sounds fancier than it is. That means I oversee all aspects of production, from the start to the finish. I keep an eye on who is doing what spots and what they cost and technically how they did it. I am the one (working with the creative team) to figure out the best approach to make the spot on the storyboard come to life. I am also the one that negotiates the price and talks other people out of making a bigger profit on the bottom line. I make sure we follow union rules and that no one forgets to use the Client’s full, legal name. I have to keep up with what is technically possible and what price that technical magic costs. I am also the one who gets laughed at by Britney Spears’ agent and tracks down obscure song rights. Finally, I make sure my creative team remembers to eat during production, that they have the right dinner/airline reservations and that they have the appropriate cold medicine, when needed. And I try really hard to make sure we get everything we want, the way we want it, without going over budget.
2. Yes, I have met a lot of celebrities. Some of them are nice and some are a pain the tuckus. Andre Braugher and Keith David are extremely nice. Domenick Lombardozzi is also really friendly. Adam Carolla likes to sleep in the minutes between takes and is always funny when he is working. Ben Folds is very conscious of what his label will allow and Mia Hamm requests a lot of riders in her contract. I have been rejected by Oprah and accidentally called John Aylward “Dr. Anspaugh,” his character name on E.R. My favorite moments? When Henry Winkler told me that Leather was much nicer than Pinky Tuscadero and chatting with one particular agent who gives me the inside scoop on the Howard Stern Show.
3. Yup, your child should be in pictures. The first step is to have headshots taken. Please note, you will need to update these CONSTANTLY if your child is under 21. You will also have to take off from work to go to auditions you are likely not to land, unless you have twins. If you want to get paid real money, you will need to join a Union. Your best bet if you live in Baltimore? List your child with Taylor Royall, Linda Townsend Management or Camera Ready Kids. Don’t ever work with an agent who charges you for auditions or head shots. Finally, huge cattle calls are likely to result in you standing in the rain and having to apologize for wasting a perfectly good Saturday, while searching for somewhere to buy your kid makeup ice cream.

Now you know. If I left something out, please feel free to ask. I promise I won’t mind.